Meg Ryan Felt ‘Exhausted’ at the Height of Her Fame: ‘Why Do We Want That?’

It seems like the ’90s was owned by Meg Ryan, who was the queen of romantic comedies during that decade as she landed hit after hit and became very sought after. But even the actress admits that it all became a bit too much after a while.

“I don’t think I took advantage of the power that I had. If you have box-office power, you can create opportunities for yourself,” the 57-year-old recently told NY Times Magazine. “That was a chit I’d earned, but I didn’t work it. Somewhere in the middle of my time in Hollywood, I did have a production company and produced movies, but it felt exhausting. I had a baby, and I was acting, and they were giving me scripts to produce in various stages of development when I was getting scripts to act in that were ready.” She continued, “I kept thinking: ‘What is this thing about having it all? Why do we want that? Don’t we just want to be happy in our independent pursuits?'”

The You’ve Got Mail star also explains how she suddenly began caring what people thought about her after she felt judge during her relationship with Russell Crowe in 2000, just one year before her official divorce from husband Dennis Quaid. “That was another big turning point in my evolution. I’d never felt like I was all that concerned with what people thought of me, but then that story never got told right,” the actress said.

She added, “The story of how I was divorced or what the actual problems were. It’s a real gift when you know you can’t ever really manage an image or a story and you stop caring. I felt the effect, like I was the bad guy or whatever the story was. But I remember letting go of needing to correct anybody.” Meg explained, “Divorce is hard. Love is hard. All those things were so personal. They weren’t for mass consumption. The complexity of a life or a marriage is never going to exist in a headline or a tabloid. That was a freeing thing to know! Though fame has become so democratized now.”

The When Harry Met Sally star is now engaged to rocker John Mellencamp. “What’s great about now is that John and I are so free to have fun,” she gushed. “Maybe that freedom is about being a million years old. But I sometimes think relationships are for aliens. Who does it? Who can do it? I don’t know how any of us ever do.”

The Golden Globes nominee revealed that she is currently writing a romantic comedy and hopes to direct it, and she’s also working on a sitcom with Saturday Night Live‘s Lorne Michaels, so it does seem like “America’s Sweetheart” is making her way back to our hearts.