Alan Alda, 90, Opens Up About the Honest Talks He Still Has With His Wife

After nearly seven decades of marriage, Alan Alda says there is no topic off-limits with his wife, Arlene Alda, including aging and death. The beloved M*A*S*H star recently opened up about the candid conversations the couple still has as they navigate life together in their 90s. 

Alda met his wife “after a chance meeting at a party,” he has said. In 2021, he shared on X, formerly Twitter, that they met at a 1956 party thrown by a mutual friend. A rum cake fell on the kitchen floor, and both Alda and his now-wife dug into the cake while nobody else would.  

He tweeted, “We did eat the rum cake off the floor and were inseparable after that.”

“But I was captivated by her even earlier in the meal when I heard her at the end of the table laughing at my jokes. She had me at Ha,” Alda added. The two wed in 1957. 

During the Alan Alda, Joy Behar, and Roger Rosenblatt in Conversation: More Rules for Aging event at 92NY, held on May 21, the M*A*S*H star said he and his wife talk about death “all the time.” He shared that honest conversations about what happens if one partner dies first have long felt important to him. 

He also recalled a conversation he once had with Carl Reiner, shortly after Reiner’s wife, Estelle Lebost, had died. He said they felt it was important to have those candid conversations, even years ago. 

Alda recalled telling Reiner, “If I died first, what would her life be like? If she died first, what would I do?”

In addition, the M*A*S*H actor shared an update on how he is doing with his Parkinson’s. He noted he was “making progress” in fighting it, although he also quipped, “I didn’t say in which direction.”

He looks at the challenges he experiences with the condition as if it is “a little like a game.” Alda explained, “It’s a way to have a good time under poor circumstances.” His condition has been progressing, but he always strives to be “looking for the funny side.” 

At 90, Alda continues facing life’s challenges with humor, honesty, and the same partner who has been by his side for nearly 70 years. For longtime fans, the story of the Aldas may be just as enduring as any role he ever played.